Adoption Excitement

Adoption has been at the heart of many of my conversations but the idea of adopting a 3rd baby has been bouncing around consistently for the last 4 months. Many of you know that it was almost a year ago that we opened a new home study to adopt Emerson's biological sister. We were content with our 2 babies but the idea of a 3rd quickly caught on.We started thinking of moving around rooms and changing out car seats. The excitement was short lived because Emerson's birth mommy chose to parent the little girl in the end. Our hearts were broken but that is the reality of adoption. Looking back now we see that moment was the first whisper.... "what would it be like to have 3?"

So here we are...home study visit was last night and the ball is rolling. Troy and I talk a lot about how our adoptions cause us to put all of our trust in the Lord! With each of adoptions I walk away a changed women more on fire for a God who gets me through it! We cant wait to see what his plan is in the coming months and we ask for prayers.

"Now I am jumping for joy, and shouting and singing my thanks to him." Psalm 28:7

6 weeks

Hopefully the end is near!! Emerson is now up to 4lb 3 oz. This week he was moved to the "well child" side of the NICU which means that other babies need more care than him. He is feeding from a bottle twice a day while his other feeding are still being administered through a tube. It uses a lot of calories to feed with a nipple so the nurses are making him rest so he can gain weight. He will need to take all of his feedings with a nipple before he can go home.

This week he also moved out of his isolate and in to an open crib. It is a great sign that he is holding his own body temperature.

Sophia met her brother for the first time this week and it was magical moment. She loves hugging him and is constantly trying to hold him. When we got back to the house she grabbed her sippy cup and practiced swaddling and feeding her babies. Dropping her and daddy off at the airport was one of the toughest moments to date.

Today I woke with a feeling if yuck. Not the type of yuck from the flu but the kind of yuck that you feel when your faith is being tested.... I recently heard the saying, "if you want to hear God laugh tell him your plans." The last 6 weeks I have been trusting....and then trusting...and then trusting some more. Emerson is an amazing miracle that only God himself could have orchestrated yet today I woke up wanting to go to the hospital, get my baby, and GO HOME!! I came close to throwing myself on the floor like a 2 year old but instead I had some quiet time and this is what I read...God is your refuge and STRENGTH, an ever-present help in trouble. I read the word strength and burst in to tears. I need STRENGTH that only HE can provide for me at this point. Only HE knows when we are going home and HE has the perfect plan in place. The tantrum still sounds inviting but I am close to bringing our son home so for today I will put my big girl pants back on and continue to trust!

5 weeks

What a glorious week! My mom and sis were here until Tues which helped break up my schedule. Emerson ended up having a blood transfusion on Saturday and I was the donor. How crazy that the first time I ever donate blood I was a perfect match for my son. His transfusion also added 80 grams of weight...HUGE number for a preemie! Yesterday he was at 3lb 10oz. The doctor switches him between formula and donor breast milk every other feeding.

Last night Sophia met her brother  and Troy held his son for the first time. When we flew down here to finalize the adoption he was in a very fragile state so we limited our hands on time with him. 

With all four of us sitting there I had this overwhelming feeling of completeness. It was only 3 years ago that I had totally come to terms with the fact that I would never be a mommy..luckily God is in charge...he has a much better plan for my life when I surrender to HIM!

(The last picture is Sophia with some very special care packages we opened from friends back home)