6 weeks

Hopefully the end is near!! Emerson is now up to 4lb 3 oz. This week he was moved to the "well child" side of the NICU which means that other babies need more care than him. He is feeding from a bottle twice a day while his other feeding are still being administered through a tube. It uses a lot of calories to feed with a nipple so the nurses are making him rest so he can gain weight. He will need to take all of his feedings with a nipple before he can go home.

This week he also moved out of his isolate and in to an open crib. It is a great sign that he is holding his own body temperature.

Sophia met her brother for the first time this week and it was magical moment. She loves hugging him and is constantly trying to hold him. When we got back to the house she grabbed her sippy cup and practiced swaddling and feeding her babies. Dropping her and daddy off at the airport was one of the toughest moments to date.

Today I woke with a feeling if yuck. Not the type of yuck from the flu but the kind of yuck that you feel when your faith is being tested.... I recently heard the saying, "if you want to hear God laugh tell him your plans." The last 6 weeks I have been trusting....and then trusting...and then trusting some more. Emerson is an amazing miracle that only God himself could have orchestrated yet today I woke up wanting to go to the hospital, get my baby, and GO HOME!! I came close to throwing myself on the floor like a 2 year old but instead I had some quiet time and this is what I read...God is your refuge and STRENGTH, an ever-present help in trouble. I read the word strength and burst in to tears. I need STRENGTH that only HE can provide for me at this point. Only HE knows when we are going home and HE has the perfect plan in place. The tantrum still sounds inviting but I am close to bringing our son home so for today I will put my big girl pants back on and continue to trust!

5 weeks

What a glorious week! My mom and sis were here until Tues which helped break up my schedule. Emerson ended up having a blood transfusion on Saturday and I was the donor. How crazy that the first time I ever donate blood I was a perfect match for my son. His transfusion also added 80 grams of weight...HUGE number for a preemie! Yesterday he was at 3lb 10oz. The doctor switches him between formula and donor breast milk every other feeding.

Last night Sophia met her brother  and Troy held his son for the first time. When we flew down here to finalize the adoption he was in a very fragile state so we limited our hands on time with him. 

With all four of us sitting there I had this overwhelming feeling of completeness. It was only 3 years ago that I had totally come to terms with the fact that I would never be a mommy..luckily God is in charge...he has a much better plan for my life when I surrender to HIM!

(The last picture is Sophia with some very special care packages we opened from friends back home)

4 weeks old

Not much changed this week in the world if Emerson. He has been slow to put on weight and it is now a little bit of a concern for the doctors. Today was shift change for the doctors (they go 2 weeks on then 2 weeks off) and today's doctor is like Tigger! He is very fast paced and ready to fatten Emerson up. I think this doc and I are going to get along GREAT. He is thinking if moving him off donor breast milk on to a high calorie formula to see how he reacts.

There is also talk of Emerson needing a blood transfusion within the week because his red blood cells are low. The day after we adopted him Troy and I donated blood. This was my first time donating so I had no idea what blood type I even was! I wasn't a match for Emerson but luckily Troy is! It is really cool knowing Emerson may have Troy's blood running through him.

A question that I keep getting in the hospital is, "did you get to meet his real mom?" Now, I should clarify that this has been a common question with both of our kids and here is the answer....I am their real mommy and Troy is their real daddy. Both of my children have amazing birth mommies and daddies but WE are the real deal.

3 weeks old

Just a quick update on Emerson....he is now 2lb 14oz of pure cuteness. I have been able to hold him twice a day for 2-3 hours at a time. The nurses are surprised at how much he loves to be held. I guess preemies are sensitive to too much stimulation but Emerson curls up like a koala bear. Our main goal is to fatten this baby up with extra protein in his formula. He is still on a continuous feed through a tube but he has been practicing using a NUK!

I won't be home in time for Christmas but a Florida Christmas doesn't seem half bad. I haven't even thought of gifts, a tree, or snow! It is crazy what falls off your list of importance when you have a baby in the hospital.

I have been staying at the Ronald McDonald house in St Petersburg and let me tell you...this place is such a blessing. The staff is very welcoming and you wouldn't believe the people that give up their free time to serve us dinner....it makes me tear up watching them be the hands and feet of Jesus. This is an organization that my kids will always know is special to our family.

Thank you to all of you who continue to pray for us. The first 3 days of our family being apart were the the worst but Troy reminded of something I said in the NICU the day we adopted Emerson........ "This little boy needs a strong mommy and daddy and we can do anything with God on our side."